09-11-06: In which my robot office assistant interviews a major market talk radio person...
All responses excerpted and used completely out of context from what was formerly on this page.
Somebody got scared and wiped the text! Really! Scroll down and read the original content.
| The very first assignment handed me by my new boss, Mike Anderson, the Publisher and Editor of STLMedia.net, was to interview the 12N-3PM personality at AM 550 KTRS, Keith Kramer. My first question was "What first drew you to radio?" |
| I believe more hot people should get into radio. We're ugly. The light shining off your suit gives me a headache. May I...? (Kramer pulls out a pair of sunglasses) |
| Certainly. |
| The sunglasses are snappy; BlueBlockers, right? Two pair for $10 at Walgreen's? Mr. Anderson has boxes of them. The cigarette adds a nice touch of what I believe you call "butch". To business: You are one of two survivors of a whole new staff at KTRS since Christmas 2005. How's that goin' for ya? |
| I believe I have been treated unfairly by the St. Louis media. I also believe that radio is terrible these days and that another MAJOR disaster is imminent. The young generation right now is in some serious trouble. I believe in cleanliness. |
| How about the station's ratings in general and yours in particular? I mean, the station now airs the Cardinal's games, and they're always a winner...what is it they say, a rising tide lifts all boats? |
| I believe lots of people don't understand my sense of humor but Will Ferrell is funny as Hell and Rush Limbaugh is a HAS BEEN HACK. And, as I said before, another MAJOR disaster is imminent. So people should eat more chocolate and relax. |
| All righty. Where did you... |
| I believe that I can do whatever I put my mind to do. |
| What, exactly, would it be, what is it you want to do? |
| I could be more sociable and sympathetic. For example, pedophiles should be killed and obnoxious ring tone users should be shot on sight. I believe in EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH! Also, we should hand write letters more often. Screw email! |
| Let's talk about talk radio subjects. Recently there's been a lot of controversey about the ABC 9/11 movie, with Democrats, including Bill Clinton, demanding that the film should not be aired and others making subtle threats against the broadcast licenses held by ABC Disney. ABC made a few edits but has aired the movie. What are your thoughts on this issue? |
| There's no reason to be obsessed with Hollywood. But the prize at the bottom of cereal should be as cool as it was when I was a kid and Bill Clinton should keep that in mind. I believe I have been treated unfairly by the St. Louis media, including ABC. |
| Uh, ABC has no presence in St. Louis media that has ever mentioned you... |
| Um, okay. There has been a lot of talk but not much action about raising the minimum wage across the nation, making it the same state-by-state and raising it above what's called the "poverty level". Where do you stand on that? |
| I believe we shouldn't be sending so much money to Lebanon. That's ridiculous! We have to wake up and start looking around that the shape of the World is in. |
| Right. Mr. Kramer, the education of our young people is approaching, or is even beyond, crisis level. How can we fix that problem? Or can we? |
| I believe that there's no reason to longingly remember high school. We should teach kids what's really going on in the World: the internet makes us waste our time, kids should get more physical education, we need Dems in the White House to balance power and women should pick up the tab sometimes. |
| You work with an interesting crew: your producer, Laurie, George Woods, McGraw Millhaven and Frank O. Pinion, along with a huge news and sports staff. What's that like for you? |
| All races can get along, but they never will; blue collar workers should be applauded and thanked everyday. I believe in the abilities of other people but there's far too lax of an attitude on marijuana and alcohol. |
| Your boss, Al Brady Law, has been in radio for many years, has worked in and managed many different formats and seems to have a penchant for firing people around the holidays. Comments? |
| I believe in the MAGIC of Christmas and that another MAJOR disaster is imminent. I believe I have been treated unfairly by the St. Louis media. |
| Mr. Kramer, you're blessed with a wonderful wife and a great little boy. Your thoughts on the importance of family in American society? |
| Family is the most important thing in our lives and the greatest thing on Earth is looking into your child's eyes. On the other hand, I believe it's okay for married people to look at the opposite sex and that chivalry is some stupid concept that women dream of. |
| What's down the road for Keith Kramer? |
| I'd like to see 80's hair metal come back and I believe that when I am 60, I will be far far behind technology-wise. I believe in vacations. I believe we should take more and more of them. And since we're about to have a bad bad winter, eat more chocolate and relax. |
| (Kramer removes his sunglasses) I believe my foot just went to sleep. DAMN!!!!!! TINGLING!!!!!!! This...is done. |
| Any final words for the readers? |
| I believe in God and think he cares about everyone reading this. Jessica Simpson is my soul mate; I believe in true love. |
| And did I mention I believe in cleanliness and that I have been treated unfairly by the St. Louis media? |
| Yes. |
| Thank you, Keith Kramer. Next week, inside the strange and lonely world of Kramer's boss, KTRS Program Director Al Brady Law. |
Comment here
Here's what was originally on this Kramer page:
I BELIEVE:
*) I believe we have to wake up and start looking around that the shape of the World is in.
*) I believe the young generation right now is in some serious trouble.
*) I believe in God and think he cares about everyone reading this.
*) I believe in true love.
*) I believe that another MAJOR disaster is imminent in this Country.
*) I believe in the MAGIC of Christmas.
*) I believe all races can get along, but they never will.
*) I believe that I can do whatever I put my mind to do.
*) I believe in the abilities of other people.
*) I believe family is the most important thing in our lives.
*) I believe the greatest thing on Earth is looking into your child's eyes.
*) I believe that there's no reason to be obsessed with Hollywood.
*) I believe we should hand write letters more often. Screw email!
*) I believe the victims of Katrina have a right to be a little angry.
*) I believe that blue collar workers should be applauded and thanked everyday.
*) I believe that pedophiles should be killed.
*) I believe there are times where I could be more sociable and sympathetic.
*) I believe lots of people don't understand my sense of humor.
*) I believe Rush Limbaugh is a HAS BEEN HACK.
*) I believe Will Ferrell is funny as Hell.
*) I believe we shouldn't be sending so much money to Lebanon. That's ridiculous!
*) I believe Ray Nagin is one of the dumbest people in politics.
*) I believe in EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH!(Charlie Daniels!!)
*) I believe in teaching kids what's really going on in the World.
*) I believe in destiny. I believe we don't really control our destiny.
*) I believe that the internet makes us waste our time.
*) I believe that we need Dems in the White House to balance power.
*) I believe that Jessica Simpson is my soul mate.(Kidding.)
*) I believe that there's no reason to longingly remember high school.
*) I believe kids should get more physical education in high school.
*) I believe there's far too lax of an attitude on marijuana and alcohol.
*) I believe kids should never have cell phones.
*) I believe that women should pick up the tab sometimes.
*) I believe the prize at the bottom of cereal should be as cool as it was when I was a kid.
*) I believe Chris Rock needs to do another special.
*) I believe that when I am 60, I will be far far behind technology-wise.
*) I believe I have been treated unfairly by the St. Louis media.
*) I believe people should eat more chocolate and relax.
*) I believe its okay for married people to look at the opposite sex.
*) I believe that people that drive Hummer's that slow down for speed bumps are IDIOTS!
*) I believe the internet should be guarded more closely because of predators.
*) I believe my foot just went to sleep. DAMN!!!!!! TINGLING!!!!!!!
*) I believe we're about to have a bad bad winter.
*) I believe more hot people should get into radio. We're ugly.
*) I believe that Elvis is the biggest star that's ever been.
*) I believe obnoxious ring tone user's should be shot on sight.
*) I believe that 80's hair metal should come back.
*) I believe that there's no excuse for not having an education.
*) I believe in actual pictures, not just on a computer screen.
*) I believe in letting go of your past.
*) I believe in cleanliness.
*) I believe in vacations. I believe we should take more and more of them.
*) I believe Charter Communication's automated phone system for internet problems SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*) I believe that radio is terrible these days.
*) I believe the cost of TYV's lately are incredible.
*) I believe the city of Detroit is the worst I've ever seen.
*) I believe most modern day music sucks...too.
*) I believe that Chivalry is some stupid concept that women dream of.
*) I believe this entry is done.
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