Could you be PD material?

Don't know where this originally came from, but it's worth replaying here. If the creator can step up to the plate and prove it's his/hers, I'll be glad to provide credit...but I'm willing to bet it originated at the KRUD website. Even if it didn't, you'll enjoy your trip there.

Take and pass this test...you might be PD material!

Think about it...a PD has to deal with:

PD's have to deal with a weird bunch.

Program Directors are the buffer between the General Manager and all the crap that he doesn't want to bother with. General Managers want to see sales reports, count money, and go to lunch. Program Directors make sure General Managers don't have to make any real decisions that might affect the ratings.

To be a successful PD you gotta know how to handle certain situations. Each is a multiple choice question!

OK, here are some typical PD problems:

# 1:  It's Monday morning and the receptionist buzzes your office to tell you that there is a very irate mother of a listener in the lobby demanding to see you. It seems your overnite guy has been talking dirty on the request line to her 16 year old daughter. This is not good! She has secretly taped your jock's perverted conversation with her daughter. There's no gettin' outta' this one! This is a big time gotcha!

You have her come into your office, play the tape for you and then you apologize for the conduct of your overnite guy. There'll be hell to pay you tell her! To make sure that your overnite guy can't deny the phone call, you have her leave the cassette of the phone call. You further assure her that this could be grounds for dismissal. You thank her for coming in and then you must decide what you will do about this situation with your perverted overnite jock.

Do you:

  1. Fire your perverted overnite jock
  2. Ask him why he's not as creative on the air as he was on the phone
  3. Ask him for the 16 year old's phone number
  4. Forget the whole thing and play the tape of the conversation at the next station party for entertainment
If you said B C or D you have the potential to be a Program Director.

# 2:   You're the new PD at a radio station that has been "having trouble" in the ratings. To tell the truth the station is dead last and sucks even more than your last station did. You have been hired to turn the station around and restore it to its former glory of being 10th in the market instead of 23rd.

The station's owner is committed to being a "winner", so you've got some resources at hand. You have several options:

Do you:

  1. Fire the entire air-staff, steal someones imaging statements, act really uptight all of the time, start calling yourself catchy names like "Doctor" or "Bubba", develop an ego the size of Alaska and start over
  2. Steal the competition's morning guy
  3. Get the air-staff squared away. Make sure the formatics are being executed properly. Adjust the music, throw some major bucks at the market with a hot new promotion you've been dying to run, get some new jingles, and pretty much re-invent the station. Transform it into the station you've always wanted to program. Be aggressive with your programming and promotions. Dominate all major concerts with your station's presence. High profile is the word for the next year!
  4. Play it safe, steal someone's imaging statements, act really uptight all of the time, start calling yourself catchy names like "Doctor" or "Bubba", develop an ego the size of Alaska, hire a consultant, make only the changes he suggests and then blame the consultant when it doesn't work. Swear you didn't agree with his decisions from the beginning.
If you said A or D you have the potential to be a Program Director (D was the most correct answer).

# 3:   Well, the book just came in and boy does your morning show suck! How's that for starting your day? Here's the problem. The present morning team has been at the station for six years. Six years of recycling the same tired old cow plop on the air. No wonder listeners are scarce. The last time they did anything really funny was in the john when they had that farting contest.

You wanted to put that on the air but management said no. Anyway, it's time for a change. Upper management might say: "We've decided to go in a different direction." Meaning: "You guys suck and you're outta' here."

But you, as the Program Director, must examine the bigger picture. We're talking your job security here too.

Do you:

  1. Fire the morning team and begin a nationwide talent search
  2. Begin a nationwide talent search..THEN..fire the morning team
  3. Give the PM Drive guy that morning shot he's always wanted. He's gotten a lot better, really! He's good on the phones, loves doing personal appearances, knows when to shut up, unlike the morning guys. He does voices, gets along with the sales reps and his numbers have, for the last six years, been the highest rated daypart on the station. And the station won't have to pay moving expenses
  4. Get new jingles
If you said D you have the potential to be a Program Director.

# 4:   It's 12:42am and your phone rings, shattering a very exciting bout of love making. The call is already off to a bad start and you haven't even said hello yet. It's your 7 to midnite guy and he's pissed because the midnite to six girl hasn't shown up yet. He tried calling her apartment, not home. Beeped her on her beeper, no response. Woke up the afternoon guy before calling you and was told to deal with it.

Do you:

  1. Tell him to play the hits til the morning show comes in...it'll be good exposure for him
  2. Tell him to just hang on until you get there and take over
  3. Tell him he's got the wrong number and hangup
  4. Tell the midnite to six girl to get her clothes on and get to the station
If you said A C or D you have the potential to be a Program Director.

# 5:   The Morning Guy you hired a year ago (based on an incredible air-check) SUCKS.. no, he doesn't just SUCK..... he REALLY sucks..... and he's got (not) the numbers to prove it. So what are you gonna do about it?

Do you:

  1. Tell him he's fired. Kick his ass out and and begin a nation-wide talent search for a real morning guy...a nation-wide talent search always instills confidence in the air-staff
  2. Try to be a nice guy and work with him and get him to perform on the level of the air-check that got him the gig or else
  3. Have him over for dinner and suggest he might want to dust off the old resume because you're moving the afternoon guy to mornings
  4. Give him a raise and a 3 year no-cut contract because in your heart you know Arbitron and the rest of the air-staff are wrong
If you said D (as in duh) you have the potential to be a Program Director.

# 6:   Two months after your annual budget meetings, your Promotions Director comes up to you and says "Hey! How much budget do we have left? Enough to buy a gross of T-shirts for a big upcoming concert?"

You wonder about this for a sec...the GM and GSM never DID give you a final figure after the budget meetings. Those meetings mainly consisted of stuff you'd LIKE to do to promote the station, but no final figures were talked about.

You approach the GSM and GM and ask how much of your marketing budget is left. "Why? What for?" is the response. You explain. "No, don't order any more T-shirts." is the answer. You ask HOW MUCH money is left in the budget but it's like you're speaking Mandarin Chinese.

In a last ditch effort, you ask if you could take a look at the client list for each of the sales staff. Maybe there's a client who would like to tie in and have his logo printed on the shirts along with the station.

"Why do you need a client list?" asks the GSM. You respond. "No. No clients would want to be in on something like that," he says. You ask if you could allocate the budget from somewhere else.

"No, we have no more budget."

"Could we back the budget out of a large buy?"

"No."

"Are there any clients who could help provide us with promotional items?"

"No, we are not going to ask our clients for anything for the promotions / programming staff. If anything, we're just going to ask for more money."

One week later, the GSM come up to you and asks why the competitor in the market is kicking your ass promotionally.

Do you:

  1. Calmly and rationally explain that in order to make money, you have to spend money and that the lack of exposure due to lack of promotional materials is hurting the station rather than just saving money
  2. Give him exceptionally vague answers and let him figure out the solution himself
  3. Explode, telling him that he must be the most limber person you have ever met because you'd have to be awfully flexible to have your head so thoroughly buried in his ass as he does, tell him to think clearly and somehow, somewhere come up with the budget to be promotionally active
  4. Say screw 'em both and approach the clients yourself, pissing off two or three of the clients who just spent $12,000.00 in advertising last month by not offering to make them a part of the promotion for free in the first place
If you said C or D you have the potential to be a Program Director.

# 7:   The FCC has just introduced a proposal to create a new class of radio station and it has been brought to your attention that one of your employees might be considering filing an application for one of these VERY LEGAL operations.

Do you:

  1. Approach the GM with whatever trash you can dig up (true or not) concerning the employee. After all, you are the person who'll have to compete with the newly legalized service and still maintain a maximum level of BLANDNESS. And HURRY! Any delay at all could set you up to have new competition thereby forcing you to (YUCK!) BE CREATIVE!
  2. Blame the engineer because the other employees (receptionist and handyman) say the son of a bitch is the only person in the building who could possibly understand enough about the industry to make a successful go of it
  3. Fire the employee immediately! Make every possible attempt to claim the equipment for the new class of operation could have potentially been (maybe even in a past life) stolen from you. (This works especially well in the case of an engineer who MUST perform a minimum of 39 hours of service each day. After all, aside from taking some of the repairs home, there's NO WAY he'll be ever able to complete all that is expected of him. In fact, if you stage a visit to the poor dude's house right after turning in an inordinately high number of repair requests, you'll probably be able to come back bragging about how YOUR equipment won't be used in any ILLEGAL OPERATION, now! But, BEWARE: If you LIE about YOUR equipment being used in the operation, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE MAY FIND OUT THAT YOUR EQUIPMENT WASN'T THERE FOR THAT PURPOSE BY TURNING ON YOUR RADIO AND HEARING THE NEW STATION ON THE AIR, LICENSED OR NOT!)
  4. Make an attempt at forming some type of an association with the prospective applicant. Who knows, some of your lower paying clients could be moved to the lower powered station and your sales department could handle the account collecting a commision for your stations as well as the sales rep
If you said A B and C with a HEAVY emphasis on C you have the potential to be a Program Director. Remember...PD also stands for "Pretty Desperate".
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